What else would he eat? A Probe Droid? Max says: THE END, BRIAN. He basically attacks one which means that’s something he’s used to doing. What do you think the Wampas ate before the Rebel Alliance set up Echo Base on Hoth? I don’t know, but in conclusion: the end.īrian: They absolutely ate Tauntauns. They’re space-yetis, and they have little horns. “ Max says: I think it’s easy to be reductive and act like Wampas are space-bears. Brian says: Can I leave yet? Max says: No, we still have to talk about Wampas. Max says: Um, hello, wet toads are called frogs, Brian. I bet they look adorable as babies, whereas baby Dewbacks probably look like wet toads. Have fun!” “Ah man, Dewbacks suck.” You know, the Sandtroopers probably weren’t too fond of them, but I would happily ride a Dewback around for a few hours, or until I got bored or whatever.īrian says: I just think Tauntauns are cooler because they’re faster and they make that horrible “babababglabagglalabba” noise when they run. In A New Hope, the Sandtroopers had to gear up to find the Death Star plans, and they were probably like, “Cool, we’ve got scary armor and big blaster rifles, are we getting Speeder Bikes too?” and their commander was probably like “Nope” and they’re like “Chicken Walkers?!” and the Commander’s like “Nope, do you give up? Dewbacks!” “Seriously? Dewbacks.” “Yep, that’s right, fellas. I think Dewbacks are great because they’re basically military-issue dinosaurs. “ Max says: Brian and I got in an argument about this one because he thinks Tauntauns are cooler than Dewbacks, so we’re going to split this entry between the two. I think they drank that large, gross, burlap bag of a monster’s milk when the sun got too hot on Jakku and they needed something to drink. The big gross hippopotamus pig is called a Happabore and I think it’s just a lovely animal.īrian says: Hey, why did they keep that thing in that otherwise barebones, broke down, impoverished marketplace? Did they milk it? I think they did. Then, in the next scene, an entire theatre stared right into its buttcrack. I’ll tell my kids how the leaked set photos gave me hope for The Force Awakens and how a year later, on opening night, I pointed and shouted when the big gross hippopotamus pig filled the screen, shoving Finn away from its water trough. I can’t wait to tell them about how excited I was for The Force Awakens, and how one of the first creatures revealed was a big, gross hippopotamus pig from early leaked set photos. “ Max says: Someday, I hope to be a father so I can share my love of Star Wars with my kids.
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